Love Always

I thank God for my gifts and for giving me the opportunity to grow. I ask my Angels to guide me as I write especially Archangel Gabriel and I thank them for their help. I hold the intent all of you will learn love and not fear.

I’m back from my Sedona trip and everyone keeps asking me how it was but I’m having a hard time explaining my trip. I’ve only been home a few days and I’m still processing everything from my week in Sedona. It was life changing for me. I went there telling myself that I want anything and everything that is supposed to happen to me to happen. It all happened and some very unexpected things as well. Each day brought something new into my life and each day brought new lessons. One of the best things I realized from this trip is I got my independence back. When I left for this trip I did not know anyone and I traveled alone. I took 2 planes, rented a car, drove 2 hrs, checked into my hotel alone and spent the first day in Sedona not knowing where I was or anyone around me. While I was waiting for my 1st plane I noticed a family with 2 small children and it hit me hard that I left my family behind. The further I traveled away from my home the more I cried. Once I was settled in my room I called home to talk to my family and when we hung up it hit me that it was only 4pm and I had hours left in my day to focus on I was alone. I have not been alone since I became a Mom 7 years ago so it’s been a while. So I went shopping, went to see the rocks and drove around Sedona. Surprisingly it felt very comfortable exploring Sedona and I’m sure I have lived there in another life.

The next day I went to my class and I got to meet 12 other women who share many parts of my life story. When I signed up for this workshop back in March the instructor told me most of the time you end up with those who are part of your soul group. I get that now because not only did I learn what I needed to about Past Life Regression I also learned what was missing from my own soul. I had 12 pieces of my soul speaking to me each time we met for class, lunch or chat time. I’ve never been to a support group before but for those of you who do belong to one you are very blessed to have that as a form of therapy. Hearing people share your very own struggles, experiences, knowledge and feeling like you are not alone is awesome and it helps you learn to love yourself since you realize there is no need to criticize yourself anymore because you are no different from the next person.

Right before this trip I tried really hard to get myself to a good point within. After this trip I now see what else I needed to clean up within. Right now I spend each day focusing on what I need to hold onto so I don’t lose all that I have gained within. My soul is going through what I call “a cleansing phase”. My emotions go up and down, my thoughts run non stop, I’m tired, I relive a lot of “old stuff” and once it’s complete I come out feeling ready to face anything that comes my way. So it’s a good thing but it so confusing as I’m working through it internally. But from what I have learned from my morning meditations at the rocks, the stories from the group and the energy I felt during the week is there is only once answer for survival of the soul and that is LOVE.

So Yay this one is about LOVE. My readers love when I talk about love so it should be a good one. Where to begin, I will start with how I break everything down to 2 explanations about my feelings, thoughts or actions. They all stem from either LOVE or FEAR. Here is an example from my week, day 1 I focused on fear and I was a mess feeling sad, alone and just confused about how I got there and why I was in Sedona. Day 2 I got to meet awesome people and I instantly fell in love with their stories, personalities, similarities and I felt great which brought me so much peace and happiness. Then Day 3 I was filled with fear AGAIN. Someone from the group shared their story and I strongly felt it was a message for me about my future. I see 777- on the right path so now I have butterflies in my stomach lol. Damn signs lol. So since I spent so much time thinking about it I turned it into fear and started to block what was trying to come out. Which always leaves me feeling very ungrounded and emotional. Then later that day I had a regression which led to me learning what I needed to do so I could overcome these emotions and get myself grounded again. So I learned LOVE was the right path and not fear. I was good the rest of the week after that and my soul continued to learn to love and my gifts and intuition seemed to strengthen too.

Something I find myself wondering about often is “is there anyone in this world who can say 100% they live from a place of love only” Meaning is it even possible to do all the time? My intuition tells me “No” nobody can say they live a life filled with 100% love. Fear is everywhere and we pick it up from others, we are born into this life having it in our souls and for as lot of us we were raised to live in fear by our parents, religion etc. That does not mean you can’t change your life for the better by learning to live from love rather than fear. However, don’t be so hard on yourself if you have a hard time “loving” your life, surroundings, experiences etc. Ex. I have learned over time to open my once closed heart and even though I know love is the only answer it is not so easy to feel or send with everyone and everything in life. But for me when I have those moments of not wanting to send love or feel love I question myself by asking myself “why”? Some of the answers I get are reasonable ones but the only answer I get that actually teaches me is “lesson of compassion.” I mentioned in other blogs that we never know someone’s entire story unless they tell us so their behavior in life will often tell us about what’s going on inside. Here’s a story about my lesson of compassion I learned during my flight home this week. When my plane stopped in Chicago one of the passengers was wheelchair bound and parlysed from the waist down. He sat in the row next to me and we started talking and realized we live within minutes of each other. He asked me where I was traveling from and I told him about Sedona and since he asked I told him about the past life therapy workshop too. He looked at me and laughed and went on to make jokes about past lives. I smiled and thought to myself ” I know most will think it’s a joke but I had the therapy done on myself and I know it’s not.” So I let it go and it didn’t bother me that he made fun of me in front of a lot of people. During the flight I could hear him making jokes and very racist jokes which were probably insulting to many passengers. At this point my “feeling sorry for him being in a wheelchair” was turning into “this guy is an ahole.” I knew deep within it wasn’t right to think but I kept thinking who acts like that and thinks it’s ok to insult others? So I had a chat with myself and I decided to “read” this man’s energy. He has anger, he is very angry about getting hit by a big truck during a bike ride which left him very different from before. He uses his “jerkiness” as a shield so others will think he doesn’t need to be pitied. He is a very sad person that spends a lot of time in his head hoping nobody will figure out his weakness. He doesn’t realize his behavior tells everyone how unhappy he really is inside. So then I did feel sorry for him and I sent love his way. I prayed for him to heal and to cope with his trauma. I don’t need to be his best friend but I did feel for my own soul and his sending love was the answer so he can heal and I could heal as well. If I choose to be nasty then I harm my own soul by missing out on the opportunity to grow. So as always the universe arranges little tests for us and we decide love or fear. I felt at peace and I’m still praying for him so it was the right choice.

Another thought that came to me is “what defines love”? Are we all on the same page with understanding what love is? Again my intuition tells me “no” the world obviously is not on the same page about love. Some define it as the way the movies make it out to be, some define it as a selfless act such as religion teaches about Jesus. Depending on how you define it determines how you give it out. If you think it’s about the magical, Hollywood version then you might be holding back from the world since unless it fits your expectation then you feel you need to keep searching. If you think it’s the “Jesus” version then you might like me be willing to send it to anyone who needs it or is willing to accept it in order for them to flourish in life. My definition of love has changed over the years because I have changed and have a better understanding about life. My original definition was about expectation meaning I had a list of what was expected from someone in order for me to believe it is love. I still have a little list but I now have learned it’s not about expecting it’s about accepting. When we expect we put demands on people and most of the time those people are not capable of fulfilling our expectations. When we accept we are allowing people to be who they are and we give ourselves a chance to decide who we are too. We decide if we will love without expectation and accept others as we want them to accept us as we are. Just like the man on the plane, at first I expected him to behave the way I thought was appropriate in order for him to deserve my kindness and love but when I realized what I was doing I made the decision to accept him as he is and allowed myself to send him love because that is what my heart knows love to be.

Life has a way of forcing us to grow and change at a faster pace than we are comfortable with sometimes. It sends so many people along our path to teach us what we really need to learn. We all have come to learn love and that also means we all need to learn to accept one another for who we are at this moment. There can’t be any judging, criticizing, hating etc for the world to live with only love and not fear. The world has a long way to go but you as an individual have a decision to make. You decide if you want to feed the world love or feed the world fear. Your behavior will show what side you are on. I see 222. Do you choose to accept people for who they are or will you judge, criticize and insult who they are? As always the first person you will need to start with is yourself. I learned a lesson in Sedona because I learned to stop putting so many expectations on myself and to start focusing on accepting instead. Expecting comes from fear since deep in there we fear “what if we’re not good enough, what if we don’t accomplish this/that, the what ifs could go on and on.” I see 333- they agree. Accepting comes from love because it deals with the now and who we are right now and what is going on right now. There is no judging or criticizing because it is what it is and if we accept it then we can focus on growing and learning which leads to sharing ourselves and experiences with others who could benefit from our knowledge and that is a form of love. That is giving a part of yourself to help another which will in time help them grow because they have learned as well. I see 222. So when you can find it in your heart to allow a lesson of compassion, stop yourself from judging, take a minute to pray for someone’s need and accept yourself for who you are right now then you are living a life of love. It’s that simple but a lot of times our egos make it so difficult to see beyond another’s ego. That’s the greatest test of love, learning to see beyond the ego. Take your own “love test” and think about your actions and thoughts in life. Be honest with yourself and figure out if you need to allow more love and eliminate fear. It’s not about mastering the test right now it’s more about learning what needs to change within so you can live from a place of love.

I’m naming this one after the way I sign cards “Love Always”. I’ve signed that way for years but today it has a new definition for me. It means “always” as in who you were, who you are and who you will be does not matter because I accept them all. So once again from my experiences it’s best to Love Always.


Manifest- take a minute to think about this one and really send out positive thoughts about what you wish to bring into your life. It will come when it’s meant to come to you.

Patience- I feel this one is reminding you not to give up on hope and allow the time that is needed for your desires to surface in your life.

The card for the month of July is Perspective- says allow yourself to be different- wow I needed this one and it’s so crazy how the spirit world knows what to send at just the right time too.

I’m going to add a number too

25-As you go through major life changes, expect the best and your optimism will be rewarded.

Always Believe…

Full Circle

I thank God for my gifts and for helping me through the dark. I ask my Angels to guide me as I write especially Archangel Gabriel and I thank them for their support. I hold the intent all of you will stay true to yourself.

I had another Birthday and for the last 2 years I have been making a Birthday promise to myself. Last year I wanted to focus on being comfortable in my own skin which still needs a little work but this year I chose to stay focused on giving up control and allowing my soul to grow.

There are so many things happening in my life right now that I’m in one of those up and down phases again. These are the times when I have to try really hard not to lose myself and everything I have gained spiritually over the last 8 years. I’ve decided to not give so many details about my personal life in the blogs so I will just say I have been fighting off a lot of negativity lately. The first one I turn to is God and I pray morning and night and a lot of times throughout the day too. I also turn to the Blessed Mother whenever I struggle with keeping my heart open. She always sends signs and her healings always work too. She sends me roses and ladybugs whenever I need to know she is around. The cake my family got me this year had a ladybug on it too so I’m sure she will be helping throughout the year as well.

This one is about Understanding Yourself. This is another one that is making me laugh because I’m thinking Good Lord is that even possible lol? Some days I know exactly who I am and other days I wonder wtf is wrong with me. I see 333- they agree. However, the days I question myself are the days I have absorbed too much of the negative energy that is surrounding me and I just need a little bit of time alone so I can regroup. Once you clear it you then are able to look back and see your thoughts were not really true who you are thoughts. They were just ego minded ones that had a little too much control over you. It happens and it’s ok but just work them out so they don’t cause too much damage.

I’m starting to prepare for my trip to Sedona and I’ve been working on keeping my thoughts positive and myself confident. I sit outside a lot at night and I use that time to clear my energy and listen to the guidance I receive. I take some time to sort out my thoughts and I focus on what I want to bring into my life. Lately it’s been about holding positive thoughts about what will be after I’m trained as a past life therapist. One night I sat there thinking I will stay open to what’s to come and just follow my nudges. At that moment I saw the first lightening bug of the season. I knew it had a message and sure enough they symbolize ” your attitude about yourself has a lot to do with your success.” It’s always about the timing with signs and the feeling you get which tells you there is a message. So I knew I need to stay confident and open to learning what I need to so I can be successful. It’s been a few weeks since that night and a few times the lightening bug has showed up at just the right time. Aydin also randomly said the # 917 just as I was thinking about the path I’m going to step onto and it means “your positive attitude is creating a successful outcome as you walk the path that follows your purpose.” Again it’s those nudges and reminders that tell you to keep following a path or tell you it’s time to change your path.

What I’m learning about myself right now is I have become MYSELF. That means I have made the decision to follow what is best for me and I have learned how to accept myself without needing others to accept me. There are plenty of people who don’t understand me and what I do, say or dream. There are many who admire what I do, many who have interest in what I do and many who learn from what I do but the difference is I don’t need them to in order for me to feel comfortable with who I am and have become. If you have been following these blogs from day one then you know that’s not who I was when I first started writing. Proof times heals you and the more you work at it the better you feel within.

I’ve also learned the more confident you are the more people are attracted to you. As in the more they will listen to what you have to say. A big indicator with understanding how confident you are is by paying attention to how you speak to people. Meaning if you speak without getting defensive then it shows you believe in yourself and you are speaking your truth. If you speak with an aggressive tone or if you push to hard to get people to see things your way it shows that you are trying too hard because you need their approval and you are being aggressive because you are putting your guard up in case the don’t agree with you. That’s a tough one to face but it’s the truth. I see 222. I used to do that without realizing it because whenever I would pass a message on I would be sick to my stomach until someone validated the message for me. Or whenever I would speak my spiritual talk I would read their expressions or reaction and if it was not what I was hoping for it made me feel horrible. I see 999- work your purpose. I don’t do that anymore and people seem to listen to me as though I know what I’m talking about. People from all types of religions seem to be impressed by what I say to them and sometimes it pushes them to have more faith in their own life or struggles. My purpose is to share what I know and now that I understand who I am it has helped me to go further along the journey I intended for this life. It took me a while to get to this point but little by little I found out who I am which makes a lot of sense now and I’m able to understand my entire life including what will be.

So you figure yourself out by observing what you say and do. You question everything about yourself so you find the reasons why you say and do those things. You HAVE to be honest with yourself if you want to heal yourself. You have flaws so you will need to learn to face them and accept them so you can change them. I just experienced a huge lesson with facing myself. I recently learned why a certain person irritated me so much and when I discovered the reason was because this person reminded me of who I was at her age I understood her more and at the same time I understood why I was so tough on her. I was given a glimpse of my own weaknesses I once had and instead of being understanding I got annoyed since it was hard to face that part of me again. She is in the process of learning a lot of the things I needed to learn but since I’m older I’m ahead of her and that was something I did not see at first. The interesting part of it all is I actually treated her the way others wrongfully treated me back then. I pitied the wrong party and viewed her as the problem maker. When really her inner frustrations were the reasons behind a lot of her behavior. She is misunderstood for her actions and I can relate to that in a lot of ways. So I ended up doing what my heart told me to do and when I changed my opinion doors opened for a healthy relationship. The same goes for myself once I changed my opinion of myself doors opened and I’m living a much healthier life internally which branches out externally.

So as always life sends us people and experiences so we learn more about ourselves. It’s up to you if you choose to learn from those people and experiences. It’s tough to face it sometimes but once you do you are able to see your weaknesses and turn them into strengths. I say all the time that it takes a strong person to admit they are wrong or in need of some positive changes. Nobody is perfect so we all need to change something about ourselves. It’s just the matter of making the decision you want to understand yourself so you can change what needs changing. I’ve grown a lot spiritually over the years but I still find things that I need to change so really it’s a lifelong process. However, the more you try then the more you understand and the easier it is to forgive yourself for your weak moments and find gratitude towards others for teaching you a lesson. Sometimes its not so obvious but we are all here to teach each other so again it’s up to you if you want the lesson to be learned. I always choose to learn and it always releases a lot of frustration, hurt or any other negative energy I feel inside.

The lives we live are based on the energy we send out. When we choose anger, stress, no faith then we draw in people and experiences that are meant to help us learn those thoughts and feelings are not working in our favor. When we choose to see the lessons, find forgiveness, hold onto hope during the dark times we draw in people and experiences to support our growth. There are always blessings in disguise present and those are the times and people who challenge us. When you learn to deal with those challenges in a mature, heart based manner you learn your weaknesses but at the same time you turn those into strengths because the lessons were learned. You gained more knowledge and chances are you won’t make the same mistakes again. We come into this life as innocent individuals that bring joy to others. As we grow over the years we collect experiences so we have more knowledge about finding our way to back to the innocent being who never wants to cause harm to others and only wants to bring joy. When you begin to understand yourself and you truly work on changing for the better suddenly life brings you joy. Once you are able to feel joy within it will then be branched out to others and it will attract more joy your way. As you collect knowledge and use it to better yourself and the world your innocence is returned and your life has come full circle.


Love Yourself- like I said in the blog, try to understand yourself more so you can learn to love yourself more.

Patience- things take time so try not to rush through life. Let it all happen as it is meant to so you don’t miss out on the learning experience. If you can change yourself into a more patient person then life will calm down. Sometimes it’s just a crazy day that needs to go by or maybe it’s an extremely challenging time in your life but the more anxious you get the harder it will be for you so try to stop and breathe as needed.

The card for the month of June- 8 of Ariel- says have pride and it’s working time- do what needs to be done and take pride in the hard work.

Always Believe…

Shiny Stars

I thank God for my gifts and for helping me throughout my life. I ask my Angels to guide me as I write especially Archangel Gabriel and I thank them for their support. I hold the intent all of you will learn to go with the flow.

I just got back from Disney World today and we had a great time but I’m also totally exhausted. I’m getting the nudge to write so I’m listening but I really have no idea which direction this one is going to go. I’m feeling it’s about focusing on the journey and not the destination. We will see what is said.

So this one is about The Journey. Whenever I hear the saying “it’s about the journey not the destination” I sometimes think 1) it’s annoying and 2) the journey is the hard part so why not just focus on the destination so you have something positive to think about? But as usual time teaches me to observe the journey so I will find so many positives that will only make the destination so much better.

As I walked around the parks this week I would read the signs with Walt Disney’s quotes. The man had so much passion, determination and most important vision for bringing joy to anyone who entered his dream. I’m not sure how many times but I do know his ideas were smashed numerous times because people did not believe he could achieve his dream. I see 111- keep your thoughts positive. However, obviously he did not quit and now has created something that attracts people from all around the world. You can actually feel the positive energy that people have when they are in the park especially Magic Kingdom. I live close to Philadelphia so not too many bring that positive energy in my area. This area seems to focus too much on getting to where they need to go rather than what can happen along the way. People rush everything and the attitudes are not always pleasant. Not everyone but a good amount of people. I always say I don’t belong on the East Coast so maybe one day when my kids are older I will make a move.

So I was inspired by Mr Disney and every time I let my mind wander to thinking about my personal dreams I got a sign telling me to keep going. It takes a lot of strength to live out your dreams. You have to learn to be your own cheerleader. People don’t always understand your ideas and passions so a lot of times you run into the dream squashers who bring you down. That’s the hardest part of the journey. When you find yourself slowing down or stopping because of what is going on around you rather than what you feel inside. Meaning you know deep inside what you want and need to do for yourself but you let others or tough situations steal your visions and you begin to lose hope. So what do you do to fix it? You remind yourself that the journey is part of getting to the destination. Those people and situations are necessary to test you so you can push harder and get closer to the desired place you wish to find. Rejection is part of life because we need to experience it so we can find something that fits us even more. My dream of publishing a children’s book started by entering a contest and it took being rejected for me to try again by coming up with the idea of self publishing which lead to me discovering the idea of using the books to raise awareness for organ donation. Had I listened to the doubters or the ones who thought self publishing was too risky because of the expense I would not have found my passion and purpose. This dream is not complete yet so I stay open to new ideas and opportunities that come to me so I can grow it even bigger. So the journey is teaching me a lot along the way and one day I will reach the final destination which will be so much more than I can imagine it to be.

You also have the journey of relationships in life. I personally have a few people who I wish I could wave a magic wand and make them disappear but it does not work so my only option is to learn from them. Yes they bring unwanted drama into my life but for some reason my soul needs to learn from it. These are the times when I want to jump to the destination and see when they will either be gone or things will be better. However, I can’t see the destination clearly unless I learned all of the lessons from the relationships. People don’t leave until the lessons are complete and people don’t change until the lessons are complete. In most cases you need to change as much as they need to as well. It’s those damn soul contracts that make you wonder WTF lol. It is very hard to keep all of your relationships balanced so try to stop and notice the guidance your Angels send to help you stay focused on the good. I often get guidance from the woodpecker whenever I start thinking about a certain person and just as my thoughts start to turn for the negative the woodpecker starts. They remind us to stop focusing on the things that don’t need too much attention. I laugh and then tell myself to let it go. I will usually find hearts in random spot whenever my thoughts are turning into ego-minded ones rather than loving ones. So they are my little nudges that help me to learn my faults along the journey too. This way I’m learning what I need to change so I can bring healing to the relationships on my end which help both sides too. As you heal and grow so do they. It’s how energy travels and keeps everything aligned to the highest level possible. Some people can feel like an anchor but the more you focus on improving yourself you should see the tension lightens up in time too. A lot of times it’s because you learn to let go and let them learn on their own. Or you let go and it stops them from draining your energy since they can’t take advantage of you anymore. Again it’s the journey and you are learning and growing so your destination will be pleasant. Either they will be with you and the relationship is healed or they will fall away along the journey and you will be set free. I see 333- they agree.

So whatever your story is the best way to deal with it is to find your lessons along the journey. See everything and everyone as a chance to learn. Collect each lesson as a way to change for the better. Understand this is your journey and it’s up to you to make the best of it and it’s up to you to make sure nobody or anything sways you from achieving what your soul seeks. Don’t ever stop making your own decisions based solely on what you desire and not what you think pleases everyone else. If your journey is similar to mine then chances are learning to stop pleasing everyone else will be a constant in your life. I see 333- they agree. Don’t be afraid to walk your own path even if nobody else understands. If you know deep within it’s what you want and need then that’s all you need to focus on. As you learn to appreciate and accept the journey then the destination will be reached more smoothly. If you learn to keep it together when life tries to steal your sunshine then nothing can stop you on the journey.

I’m a believer in wishing upon stars. I do it all the time and I’ve been given signs that my wishes will be granted. I see 333 again. However, those wishes can’t be granted until I’ve learned my lessons and I’m fully ready to receive. My journey teaches me what I need to learn so I am able to receive so in the mean time I try my best to learn and let nothing dull my shine. There’s always a choice to shine in the dark or get lost in the dark by losing the light within. It does not matter who you are because each of us have a journey filled with tests that can easily put our lights out. What matters is who you want to be at the end of the journey. That decision determines your destination. So do what you gotta do to make sure you get what you need from the journey. Keep your light bright when life tries to steal it. Wish upon the stars and don’t ever stop waiting for those to come true. Keep going, keep hoping, keep learning, keep growing, keep healing and when the journey ends you will be a shiny star.

One quote to live by is “If you believe you will achieve” Trust it and learn to live by it. It helps when life tries to dull your shine.


You Already Know- This one is telling you the answer is in you. Be honest with yourself and you will know what the card is talking about.

Leadership- This time I feel this card is telling you to take the lead in your own life. Try not to follow the path someone is choosing for you. Trust your own judgment and follow through with what you desire for yourself. It does not matter if nobody else understands all that matters is that it makes you happy and at peace.

Always Believe…

Batter Up

I thank God for my gifts and for helping me stay focused. I ask my Angels to guide me as I write especially Archangel Gabriel and I thank them for their signs. I hold the intent all of you will focus on your desires and not your fears.

It’s baseball season for Aydin and I’ve been testing out the power of positive energy every time he is up to bat. Right before he goes out I make sure I touch his bat and send the thought out that he will get a hit. He has only had 3 games so far but each time it has worked. He usually gets 2 strikes and then on the third swing he hits the ball. Each time the ball comes towards him I keep projecting the thought that he will hit it and I send that energy towards him. He is learning it works so now he brings the bat to me lol. I’m also teaching him to say “I’m gonna get a hit” to himself once he is out there and when he listened to me he hit the ball on the first swing. So when you desire something all you need to do is stay focused and keep projecting that energy out so the end result will be a positive one.

This one is about Letting Go of Fear. A couple of years ago I wrote a blog about balloons and I told a story about how the universe showed me once I let the string go my desires will come my way. Ever since that time whenever I’m struggling with overcoming fear I will find a string in odd places. So this always reminds me to let go and stop allowing fear to take me over. About a year ago I had some tests done to check to see if I had any sign of breast cancer and the day before my test I was driving and getting stressed out. I got to the point and asked for a sign about what to expect. Just at that moment a balloon flew over my car without any strings. I wanted to believe that was a sign that everything is good and just let go and thankfully it was true. It always amazes me how the signs just appear once we ask and they really do bring comfort.

So how do you know fear is getting the best of you? Feeling stressed is the biggest one, a million thoughts at one time running through your mind, feeling like you are frozen and can’t make a decision, wanting to make a step but your nerves get the best of you, visions of the worst happening rather than the best etc. This might sound ridiculous to some of you but for me it’s a big deal. My biggest fear right now is getting my nerve up to get back on the boat and out into the water. It’s been 6 months so now I have to start all over again with fighting my fear of the river. I had horrible dreams over the winter because I was letting the fear come back. I even took a safety course to help myself feel better but it may have made it worse knowing too much. I’m not so much afraid of being on the boat I have a fear of being thrown into the water because of an accident or anything else that could go wrong. Ron absolutely loves boating so I’m trying to enjoy it just the same but he knows he can leave me home and take his friends as much as he wants lol. So I’m trying and have not mastered it yet but I’m trying to stay focused on my desire rather than my fear. I try to look at it like everything else in life. Such as we never know what could happen at any minute. Driving on the road is probably more dangerous than boating and illness can strike you at any second so if I don’t stress about those things then why put so much negative energy towards this fear. It’s so crazy because once I’m out there on the water and especially when we anchor it becomes another world to me. It’s so therapeutic for me because I feel so disconnected to everything. Water is very healing so being totally surrounded by it actually does a lot of good for our souls. But the fear only lets me see the worst happening rather than the best so I deprive myself of relaxation since I let the fear win. Those are the things I’m working on so I can eliminate my fear or at least reduce it so I can enjoy myself and move forward.

So it’s been a few days and a new thought has come to mind about my fear of the river. See once we allow ourselves time to rest new ideas come to us which gives us what we desire. The idea of leaving the river and moving to a lake is our plan for next year. I see 222- keep the faith. This actually solves all of my issues with boating. This way I will still get to enjoy boating without the worries of barges, currents and obnoxious boaters who have no respect for the smaller boats. The river is extremely dangerous and there is no predicting the conditions so I’m always hesitant about taking my children on the boat. Which defeats the purpose of why we bought a boat. It was meant to be a family thing and my fear is blocking that from happening. So instead of calling it quits I will try again and project positive thoughts about the boat which is drawing in new ideas on how to make it enjoyable. I’m actually looking forward to the lake since it gave me a peaceful feeling. The river keeps giving me “I don’t belong here” feeling so it’s time to move away.

Again my personal situation may not be the same for you but I’m sure there are things in your lives that are filling you with fear. It could be anything but it takes the same work to overcome the fear. It takes time to calm yourself enough so new ideas come through. It takes looking for the positive rather than getting stuck on the negative. It takes getting yourself to the point that you believe you will overcome the fear even though it will not happen right away. Some things happen by taking little steps at a time. I see 555- change is coming. It’s takes having the nerve to swing at the ball being thrown your way. The ball being the fear that is going to hurt you if you don’t try to stop it. The fear that is robbing you from enjoying life to the fullest. I personally use anything that proves to be a huge fear as a way to challenge myself. I try to test to see if I can actually overcome it before I surrender to it. Some things I know I’m just not meant to do but it’s the things that I know on the other side of the fear I would really enjoy it. Like boating, I know I love it because it heals my soul but the illusion of what could go wrong stops me from being at peace(which is most likely linked to a past life trauma) . That annoys me so that also tells me I can’t surrender to the fear and I must keep fighting.

So life is often a mind game, a game of deciding if you will focus on the hit or focus on the strike. When you try and you believe then you get a hit. When you try and miss all you need to do is keep trying. There are no rules in life that say “you’re out”. You get to make your own rules with your life. You can scramble it up and move things around as much as you need. It’s when the strikes start knocking you down and you fear stepping up to the plate you will need to batter up.

I just now figured out why “baseballs” have been finding me all week. There was one sitting on the dock at the marina, one came flying out of someone’s yard and in front of our car when we left the marina, I found one in Aydin’s pj drawer and there was another but I can’t remember exactly. So now I know the “baseball” symbolizes keep fighting. Remember that for yourself too. But they will find you when you need a reminder too :)


Self-Care- this one reminds us that we need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. Be sure to take some time outs for yourself so you can build your strength again.

Archangel Metatron- this one tells that Archangel Metatron is who you need to call on as you step onto an intense spiritual journey. If you feel like you are starting to open up to the spirit world then call on him to help you understand the messages you are receiving.

Spiritual Understanding- This one comes from Archangel Raziel who is known for helping with psychic ability so he is another one to call on for clarity and calming if you feel overwhelmed by the spirit world.

I forgot about the monthly cards Doreen Virtues picked for the year so I will add Apr and May. April- New Beginnings- so if any big opportunities came your way this month then know this is a really good time to think about taking chances. May- High Priestess- which is heightened abilities and it says trust it. My gut tells me someone has just plopped their ass on the spiritual rollercoaster and is about to go on a serious ride lol. If this is you be ready for anything that comes your way and don’t try to understand it all. Just go with the flow. I’m here if you have any questions too.

Always Believe…

Lemon Law

I thank God for my gifts and for blessing my life. I ask my Angels to guide me as I write especially Archangel Gabriel and I thank them for their support. I hold the intent all of you will allow your soul to be cleansed.

I opened up the creative door again so I’m getting flooded with messages for the blog. Some of you may be struggling so when that happens the Angels hit me hard with messages. Writing always helps me too so I get to benefit from it as well.

This one is about Cleaning Up. I always have that undying wish that I will get caught up with cleaning my house and at times I do and it only takes a day for the hard work to look like I never did anything. It’s the same for the soul. It takes a lot of work to cleanse your soul and in a matter of a day you can accumulate everything you tried so hard to clean. Life requires you to work daily for what you desire. There are slow times but there are also fast times that make it hard to keep up. Life likes to say “here is something I want to throw your way and lets see how you handle it”. Will you absorb it and allow it to clutter your mind, body and spirit? Or will you accept it and make it work with your mind, body and spirit by keeping only what needs to stay and eliminating the rest?

In my life I have had many things thrown my way that I have had to process and eliminate so I could keep my sanity and inner peace. I learned the hard way that I was not going to be able to do this on my own and when I allowed God into my life I learned to use the world as my teacher. I use everything in the universe as a way to help me keep going. Every bird, animal, object, person, situation, insect, word or anything else that feels like it has something to teach me. In this blog I’m going to use the “lemon” as an example. I see 222. Yes there is fruit symbolism just like animal symbolism. I’ve gotten many messages by the Angels using fruit symbols. Everyone is different so our language with our guides varies from person to person but my guides talk fruit and I get it lol. Just like I get the other symbols they send. It’s not always just words so open your mind a little because you could be missing a big message. Anyway, the lemon symbolizes “cleansing” and “love and friendship”. I’ve learned in life that in order for relationships to work they need to be healed. They can’t be healed if we don’t allow our souls to be cleansed of what we don’t need to carry anymore. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you have in life because it will branch out to the relationship you have with others. If you are cluttered then the outside relationships will be cluttered too. So it’s starts and ends with you and what you need to do for your mind, body and spirit to function at its best.

So the lemon has a lot to teach us. Most people use the phrase “when life hands you lemons then make lemonade.” That’s so true because when life presents to you something hard to taste then when you find a way to sweeten it you then are able to indulge it. On a soul level that means when life throws a bunch of unwanted crap your way you will need to find a way to deal with it by learning to open your heart and mind so you can gain what is good for you and get rid of what is not. The lemon on the outside is hard and bitter but the inside although sour can be changed into something sweeter. So can a soul. We all have a hard exterior because we all have had trauma at some point in life. We can all be a bit sour at times because we all have struggles in life. However, we all have the potential to become a healthy soul with a sweetness. It’s the law of “be the change you want to see in the world.”

Before my soul took me on this intense spiritual journey 8 years ago I was down the shore with Ron and we were walking to the boardwalk when a car was pulling into a parking spot. I really did pay too much attention to songs as signs at this point but for some reason I never forgot the song this person had playing really loudly on the radio. It was Michael Jackson’s song Man in the Mirror. Now that song has a way of finding me whenever I’m slipping spiritually. I see 444- nothing to fear. I always take it as a sign to tell me “who you are right now is not who you wish to portray to the world.” It gives me a chance to learn from it and realize my actions are telling my life story of who I really am inside. So if I’m angry or hardened on the inside then it’s going to show on the outside to everyone else. Most important it’s going to hurt everyone else on the outside since it will be hurting me on the inside too. It’s like this… when you put your issues in a place that keeps them stuck then you are creating a lot of clutter in your soul. This turns into anger within your soul and eventually leads to anger towards others. So when others sense your anger it then makes them angry at you because they feel that same energy. They put their guard up against you as a way to protect themselves from you. This is how you block yourself from receiving love from others. People can’t give you something when you have a wall. You can’t send out something when you have a wall. And you are the only one who can remove the wall. I see 555-chnage is coming.

When you take time to think about who you really want to be in life then you should find you want to be at peace with everyone and everything in your life. If you can’t find that then you will need to keep thinking about what and who is keeping you from finding peace. Once you figure out the whats and who’s then you will know where you need to start. However, that also means you will need to start with yourself so you can learn to be at peace. I see 1111- ask the universe for what you desire. Sometimes its a matter of learning to forgive, trust, walk away, apologize, accept or anything else that would come to your mind when you truly try to eliminate the blocks of healing. Remember cleaning up is a daily task so it needs to be worked on every day. I will NEVER tell you it’s easy but from my experience it’s not impossible.

Keeping the thought about “be the change you want to see” is really helpful because it will motivate you and remind you not to be a hypocrite in life. You can’t expect life to give you something that you are not willing to give back. It’s not the way it works. You always get back what you send out. It’s the balance of giving and receiving. So when you are not at peace with something or someone in life then if you desire positive change you will need to make a positive change within yourself. Such as the moments when the BS gets stirred up in your life and you find yourself starting to lose it a bit these are the same moments that are offering you the opportunity to change yourself for the better. Do you want to absorb it and clutter your mind, body and spirit or will you accept it and make it work with your mind, body and spirit? I try very hard to accept it and by doing so I eventually bring myself back to peace. This is when it’s really important to let the universe become your teacher. It will help you fight your ego too. It’s so easy to get distracted by chaos and annoying and ignorant people so when the universe starts to intervene so you don’t slip spiritually just listen because it will spare you a lot of clutter. Ex. Whenever something or someone “gets” to me I start to eliminate the clutter by asking myself questions. I see 444- nothing to fear. I first try to figure out “why” it or they are getting to me and I’m always looking for my own weakness and not what they are doing. My weakness such as insecurity, anger, stubbornness(I can be lol) or anything that comes to my mind that would explain why I’m getting upset. Cleaning always starts and ends with you because that is the only way it gets completed. It’s not about what anyone else or anything is doing it’s about how you are dealing with it internally.

So cleaning up is a choice and you can choose to stay the same or you can choose to become better. It’s a decision that will make or break your life. It will draw in what you most desire or it will draw in what you don’t. If you decide to be sour then so will be your relationships and everything else in life. If you decide to sweeten up then again so will your relationships and everything else in life. It’s the law that can’t be broken.
So when life hands you lemons it’s best to make lemonade.


Comfort- this one reminds you that the higher powers are with you always whenever you call on them. They will often send human angels your way to comfort you as well.

Release/Relax- this one reminds you to let go and try to calm down so you can get your thoughts straight about how to deal with challenges.

Friendship- this one I feel is saying try not to do it all on your own, reach out when you need some help because there are special people in your life who will help you out. I see 222- keep the faith.

Always Believe…

Spring Forward

I thank God for my gifts and for pushing me through the hard times. I ask my Angels to guide me as I write and I thank them for sending me so many signs. I hold the intent all of you will work for what you want.

It has not even been a month since I wrote the last blog and believe it or not it is so weird writing now. When I logged on to the site I had a thought of starting a post but figured I won’t worry about finishing it by a certain date. I really miss writing and even though I’m working on my book it’s different because nobody gets to read those words yet. I don’t miss sharing so much about my life but I miss writing to inspire others to push forward. That always seems to help me push harder too and to reflect on how much my hard work has helped me get to where I am today.

This one is about Never Forgetting that Things Do Workout. I see 111- keep your thoughts positive. I have so many stories I could share about the times when I thought something was impossible only to be proven wrong by having something even better happen. I’m trying to figure out which story to share and the first one that comes to mind is my dream of taking my kids to Disney World. I have never been to Disney yet so even before I had children I knew it was going to be a goal of mine to take them to Disney World. I also wanted to be able to take them while they were still really young so they would enjoy the magic of it too. So when Aydin was 5 and Rylee was 2 I started to wonder if that dream was not going to happen. That was when our financial situation was at its worst and Disney was the last place I was going to spend money. I was putting Aydin to bed one night and he started to talk about going to Disney since his friend was going and I told him “someday.” I remember feeling bummed because I could not foresee anything happening to us financially that would allow us to plan that big of a trip. After putting him to bed I came downstairs and checked my email and there was one from a vacation site (which I did not have anything booked at that time) and the subject line said “your trip is all set.” I took that as a sign the just maybe one day it would happen for my kids. I would often remind myself of that email whenever I would start to lose hope that we would be going one day and then out of the blue the money came in and I jumped at the chance to book the vacation. We are not going until May and God only knows how this is going to be with my crazy kids but we are going and that’s all that matters to me. Hopefully seeing my kids super excited and having a great time at Disney World. So sometimes the higher powers send us little signs to let us know everything is going to workout but we need to give it some time.

Another story I can share (ha I see 555- change is coming- I have been seeing those numbers everywhere lately too)is about discovering my passion and talents. I’m headed to Sedona in June for a training to become a past life therapist and it s stirring up all kinds of emotions for me. The positive ones are linked to my passion for counseling and my hope this experience will be life changing for me. So many tell me Sedona has a such a special energy that all your senses come alive so I’m looking forward to seeing what happens to me while I’m there. The negative ones are linked to fear. I’ve preached so many times about fighting fear and realizing it’s just an illusion but that is not so easy to do. Not impossible but not easy. Most of my fear is about flying, driving 2 hours alone on a desert road, hoping I don’t run into any minor problems with my flight, car, hotel etc. Just the little things that probably don’t even need to be worried about but they still enter my mind. I also have a little fear about what will be after this trip. Will I be able to over time turn this into a new career that gives me a decent income along with helping others. So I continue to remind myself that things take time and we don’t always get to see the full plan and future that is ahead of us. I also keep reminding myself that my thoughts will co create my future so I need to focus only on the outcome I desire and not what I fear. So I do what I always do when I’m feeling unsure and that is I turn to faith and my Angels. I see 222- keep the faith- see they always send signs at just the right time.

I mentioned earlier that I keep seeing 555 and those numbers for me mean BIG changes are coming my way. I’m in a “test” phase right now. I see 888- abundance coming(side note- take advantage right now and send out a positive thought about what you most desire right now- once you send it then it has to come back to you at some point.) If you don’t believe me then try it anyway and you can thank me later lol. My “test” phase is sending me challenges so I will learn to alter my thinking into a more positive true to myself way and not the ego way. Again this is not always easy but I’m trying to look beyond what is right now and I’m trying to focus on what could be in the future. I’m still trying to live in the moment but I’m doing my best to keep it from taking away everything I have changed for the better within myself. At this point I know better so I need to keep it that way and live that way. So challenges are nothing more than little tests to see how easily you will or will not break. Don’t break because you have come too far. Look beyond the best you can and try to believe there are reasons for the challenges.

Back to Faith and Angels/higher powers. You should see that when you are in the middle of a challenge then you will start to have little “coincidences” that happen. I see 1111. I don’t believe in coincidences and I always feel its Divine guidance but if you start to question why things keep reappearing or you keep seeing or hearing words you need to know and sometimes you find yourself getting confused by the coincidences because you want to believe you are getting the right answer but then your fear makes you question it then know you are getting guidance from your higher powers and YOU need to trust it. I see 555- change is coming. Lots of numbers in this one. The confusion is only your ego trying to stop you from listening to what your next step needs to be or stop you from keeping hope. I see 333- they agree. Go to your heart and when you feel peace then you know if what you are receiving is truly what fits your desires. Just like me with Sedona, I try to stop myself from unnecessary worry by reminding myself that being a Past Life Therapist is what my heart wants for me and one day I will look back and see it was a good thing I went when I did.

So the first step to trusting everything works out is to “plant the seed” by deciding what it is you truly desire. The next step is to notice the signs that come your way to remind you not to lose hope. Next you will need to work on trusting those signs and remember those signs when you feel yourself slipping. Seeds need maintenance in order to bloom so it’s the same for your visions and dreams. Once you learn to trust then you will need to visualize the outcome you desire. You will need to think and create how you want things to be. This is when the seed starts to open and you draw in the energy from the universe that will support your desires. You should notice the right people appear, the opportunities surface and whatever else you need to move forward will seem to appear out of no where. The key to success is to always remember everything works out according to Divine Timing. Try not to lose hope just because you can’t see everything right now. You only need to focus on what is happening right now and not worry about how things will happen in the future. I find that my visions of my expected outcome never match the actual outcome because the universe has a way of making thing so much better than what my imagination allows.

Another thing to focus on is that you are co creating your life with your thoughts and actions. So when you slip a little(which is ok) just kick yourself back into believing the power of your thoughts will create your future. We always have to experience everything we send out in order to learn and grow. So when we allow ourselves to slip we are basically asking the universe to send more challenges so we learn from our mistakes. It’s not a bad thing because we are still learning but it is a huge reminder that when we send negative out we are allowing it to come our way in the future. If you pay attention you will see when you have a bad day on the inside everything on the outside goes wrong too. I see 555- again. However, you will also see when you fix the inside the outside adjusts to the same energy and things start getting better. Believe me this is true but most people don’t pay attention and get buried in frustration rather than thinking about how they can change the energy flow into a more positive flow. You are co creating always so you really have more control over your life then you realize. Some things are out of your control but how you choose to deal with life is always in your control. Free will trumps the Divine Plan so use it wisely. I see 777- on the right path.

So start visualizing and plant those seeds. Feed those ideas each day with what you wish to happen for you and keep your faith strong. Spend time thinking about what steps you should take and listen to the guidance you receive and in time the universe will send you the people, money, time, opportunities. The first bloom starts when you adjust your energy to the outcome you truly desire. This is when things just fall into place and you feel this is you chance to make the leap. This is also when your ego kicks in and plays games with your mind but when you focus all the seeds and all the work you have done then you realize you have come too far to go backwards. I see 888 and 555. So allow the seeds to open and bloom into your dreams coming true and when opportunity comes your way never go backwards but always spring forward. Ended with see 222- keep the faith!


Angel Therapy- this one reminds you to call on the higher powers and they will come to help you. They need us to ask for their help since they won’t intervene without our permission. This really works so use what God has given you to help you through the hard times.

Acceptance- this could mean accept the changes in your life so you can work through them a little smoother. I also feel it’s asking you to look at your life and make sure you are not rejecting something or someone you need to help you get through the struggles in life. I see 333- they agree. We can’t receive if we block things and people so make sure you are open to receiving what the universe is trying to send you. Remember fear can make us think thoughts that are unnecessary but your heart never lies so just listen to your heart and it will guide you in the right direction.

Always Believe…

Goodbye for Now

I thank God for my gifts and for helping me change my life. I ask my Angels to guide me as I write and I thank them for their signs and messages. I hold the intent that all of you will take what you learned from these blogs and use them daily in your life.

I’m starting this one on Feb 23 and there is about one more week left of Mercury in retrograde. Whenever Mercury goes retrograde it always stirs everything up for me and most of us. Electrical things break, arguments happen, laziness sets in and life presents what you need to pay more attention to. So far I have needed to replace my heater, had many bitchy moments, felt very unmotivated and now I’m thinking about changing my life a bit too. This was an intense one this time around so if you have been feeling any of the above then understand the retrograde has been working on you. However, it has now moved towards the ending period so you should start to feel the energy pushing you towards some positive changes that you need to make with your life. Change is good and as long as you listen to your heart you can’t go wrong so always follow what you truly desire.

This one is about Me Saying Goodbye. I’ve given this a lot of thought and my heart is telling me it’s time to slow down with blog writing. I see 222. I’m starting to feel like I miss having privacy in life. I don’t regret anything I have shared even the things that have not been easy to share but I don’t have the drive to tell so much of my weekly life anymore. My free time is very limited and I want to work on my self help book but I don’t have enough time to write a blog and a book. So I’m going to take a break with the blog. I will write if I get the nudge but it may not be weekly or monthly. It will just be as I’m guided to do so. I will leave it up to the Divine to decide when I need to write.

Some advice I can give to anyone who feels they need a change would be when you get the nudge then listen. When you lose desire then listen because your soul is telling you it’s time to let go of something so something better can come into your life. For me I have been feeling like this year I want to focus on my physical self including my physical world. For almost 8 yrs I have been on a spiritual journey and have been through so much mentally, emotionally and spiritually that I finally feel balanced in those areas. However, being on that journey has pulled me away from my physical world and self. I miss being in the moment with my family since I’m always sorting out what’s running through my mind. This gift comes with a lot of mental chatter so I’m always sorting out messages for others, myself, the blog or letting go of unnecessary thoughts too. I miss having a private life since I feel so exposed with the blog. I believe I was meant to share what I have and I believe I have helped many. However, I feel there are so many blogs I’ve written available for people to go back to as needed that I no longer need to share my personal life. So I feel the nudge and I’m listening to my heart. I want to do other things with my limited “me time”. I want to take a writing class, more yoga, work on my book and maintain the balance I have achieved with my mind, body and spirit. I want to write my own personal journal only meant for me to read so I can see the messages clearly that are meant just for me. The blog helps me see some but not all messages in the blog are for me so I feel this will be better for my personal spiritual growth.

So it’s not a goodbye forever but a goodbye for now or until I’m meant to write. I see 111- keep your thoughts positive. I’m still here if anyone has questions or wants to share something with me. You can email me or if you desire counseling to help with your spiritual growth you can email me or go through my website

I want to thank all of you for following this blog and I KNOW all of you will go on to change lives for the better just by believing there is something bigger than us in life. When you believe in something bigger and better than you become someone bigger and better. Someone who is bigger than the petty things life sends your way and someone better than you were yesterday. We change everyday and as long as we follow what our heart desires then we are destined for a beautiful life.

So in the 2+ years of hearing about the ups and downs of my life I hope you take some of my advice with you and change yours for the better. I hope you truly chase your dreams and do whatever is necessary to achieve them. Life is unpredictable so just listen to those nudges because they are your guide to the life you want to manifest for yourself.

So once again it’s not a goodbye forever but just a goodbye for now :)


Time to create- like I said listen to your nudges because that is how you will create the life you have been searching for.

Nature- it’s so good for your soul so try to spend as much time in nature as possible. You will feel so much better even on your worst day.

Comfort- this one says “I am with you in your time of need helping your heart to heal- this one comes from Archangel Azrael but really you can call on any angel when you need comfort.

This one jumped out Send Love- I’m taking it as a sign to send all of you love and healing. I wish all of you the best and I hope you get everything you want out of life.

Always Believe…