I thank God for my gifts and for blessing my life. I ask the Angels to guide me as I write and I thank them for their help. I hold the intent all of you will change your views.
I’m starting to write this on the night before Thanksgiving and it’s Rylee’s birthday too. I was busy all week running around getting ready for the holiday, Rylee’s bday celebration, Aydin’s conference and lots of life’s chores. Somehow most of my holiday prep is done, Rylee is asleep and Aydin is spending the night at my Mom’s so I have some free time to write. I’m amazed I’m so organized right now so I’m happy everything fell right into place and I’m not stressed. While I was cooking tonight I was thinking about Thanksgiving and everything I’m thankful for too. I have a lot to be thankful for right now, there is a lot I could complain about too but I’ve learned to count your blessings because those could be gone in no time.
This one is about What Matters In Life. I was in such a good mood a few minutes ago and then I decided to check fb before I logged onto my blog and I read a post about my fb friend losing her brother. So sad and I really get so upset when these things happen right before the holiday. We can never predict those things but it does not matter anyway since we will never be 100% prepared for losing a loved one. I said some prayers for the family so I hope the Angels will come in and surround them with comfort. Reading that post confirms my thoughts about holding onto the blessings in life because you never know when the time is up and they need to leave or life changes. A couple of weeks ago I was letting my dogs outside and when I reached for the door in the basement I could see nothing but mess from my kids. Then I turned to look at their play area and I saw more toys and mess. I thought to myself I can’t wait until the day comes when my house will be in order and no marks on the walls, broken things or just kid mess. It’s impossible to keep up and I clean all the time. But when I started to walk back upstairs I had a thought come to me and it was “no mess means no kids anymore.” My next thought was I’m going to miss these days one day since they are not meant to stay forever. What will life be like without my kids yelling, making messes or just being goofy kids that make me laugh? They will one day be grown up and on with their life. That made me sad and I looked at the messes in a different way. I woke up a little bit too and realized my first priority needs to be my children. I see 222. I think about my future all the time. I think about all the things I want to accomplish and finding my new career too. I’m not sure when it will happen but my boss will be retiring at some point I would think within the next 2-5yrs and I really want to retire my hygiene career at the same time. So I’m always calculating how many years until Rylee is in school full time and I can start a new career. I’m rushing things and I need to stop. She turned 3 today and I don’t even know where 3 years went. When I was pregnant with Rylee I spent my entire pregnancy stressed out about my life. I spent the first year of her life struggling to ground myself so I could get it together mentally. This last year I spent enjoying everything about her. This next year I will try to remind myself to stop worrying about my next chapter of life and keep being a Mom my first priority. Time is flying by with my children and they grow so fast and they change just as fast. Aydin has grown up so much that it’s hard for me to remember his toddler years of making me crazy. He is so involved with playing sports now that he understands every sport and sits and watches games with Ron and actually talks about the game with him like a grown up. We went to his conference with his teacher yesterday and she was saying how well he is doing in school. She even suggested we have him tested in 2nd grade because she thinks he is gifted. I kinda thought he may be because I see how his mind is always working and he is so quick to learn anything. It was nice to hear a teacher tell me she thinks the same. That opened my eyes too because I thought holy crap my kid has the potential to excel in school and life and I need to make sure I hold up my end as a parent. Aydin is a different kind, so smart, so many kids want to be his friend and he really has a specialness about him that people pick up. Rylee is more of a healer and brings a calming energy to people. She is not as driven as Aydin since she likes to give up and let someone else do it for her. She is special but Aydin has an energy that is powerful and can be used as a leader one day. Rylee has a strong soul too but it’s different from Aydin. So I’m trying not to freak out but as a parent we all have responsibility. We can make or break our kids lives. We all make mistakes as parents but if we don’t wake up and see what really matters then we could waste a lot of time focusing on the things that won’t benefit our children at all. I see 000- God is with you. Like my life, will the marks on my walls or mess from my kids really damage my children if I let it go? Will they be damaged because they grew up in a house where toys were allowed to be out-of-place and they were allowed to eat snacks in the living room and watch tv at the same time. Will I be doing harm if I don’t freak out when they spill their drinks on my couch? Or will I traumatize them by not letting all of that stuff go? My home is a place where anyone who enters is made to feel at home. There is no removing shoes, keeping food and drinks in the kitchen, feeling like you are afraid to touch anything etc. We live in this house and that is exactly what we do. That’s a normal way of life for me so I’m trying to keep that in mind when I get frustrated if I see a fingerprint, stain or toy. I don’t live in filth but I live in mild- moderate clutter because I can’t control it no matter how hard I try. But giving up being a neat freak who cleans 24/7 so I can be at every soccer/basketball/ baseball game is ok with me when I know that is what will be the biggest mark on my child’s life. My children knowing they saw my face at every game and hearing me as a crazy “soccer Mom” on the sidelines. I’m not really a loud person but put me on the sidelines at Aydin’s game and something changes in me lol. As my friend Cindy told me this season “I’m officially buying you a soccer Mom sticker.” Aydin is really good at defense but when he has a chance to score he freezes up a bit so I’m always trying to get him to fight off his insecurities when he has a chance to score and I get a little crazy. As much as I want him to play hockey I think it may be a bad idea since I could be the parent that ends up in the paper lol.
Now it’s the day after Thanksgiving and I learned something major yesterday, that is forget the china and go with paper. I was against paper plates for Thanksgiving but I let my Mom talk me into it and wow what a difference lol. I don’t think anyone missed the fancy dishes anyway. Anyway, I also used my own advice about not freaking out because of kid mess and it helped. I decorated my Christmas trees with my kids today so I made them hot chocolate to drink while we decorated and within 2 mins Aydin spilled his whole mug all over my hardwood floors. My first reaction was yelling “really Aydin” and then when he looked at me I remembered my words from the blog and saw the expression on his face like he was sorry and I let it go. It brought back a memory from when I was 5 and my babysitter gave me grape juice and she said “be careful so you don’t spill it.” I spilled it about 30 seconds later all over her tan haired dog and he turned purple. I never grew out of being clumsy but I can remember how I felt when she got upset with me. It was not a good feeling. So I feel it’s best to take yourself back to a time when you may have been on the receiving end of someone over reacting about something you didn’t do on purpose or were not aware of the mess you made. Mess as in anything you may have done in life that created a not so great reaction to someone else. These stories are about my children but it can relate to anything in life. When you are able to turn things around on yourself then you get a better understanding about how the other person/people feel. Meaning when you over react or cause someone to feel bad in any way then stop yourself and try to feel what they are feeling. I looked at Aydin’s face and I knew right away it was an accident and I should not yell at him when he did not do it on purpose. I know the marks I see on my walls or the toys my kids bring into every room are not from them trying to purposely drive me crazy or destroy my dream of a pristine house. I know it’s because they are kids being kids and if I allow myself to chill for a second I ask myself “does it really matter if all they are doing is living comfortably in their home?” Anything that they break, mark up or drag out can be put back in order at some point and if that means when they are older then that’s when it gets done. But if right now I learned to not stress about those things then I learn to be at peace with life as it is right now. I learn to let go of what does not matter and focus on what does. My kids happiness and feeling secure in their own home means more to me than a couch, wall, floor etc. I see 888- abundance coming- I’m hoping for a bag of money for a cleaning lady lol. So maybe you don’t have these struggles with kids and mess right now but there is most likely something you need to change your view about. Maybe it’s your job, your relationship, your financial situation etc. How can you figure out what really matters? I will start with a job- I don’t’ love my job but I’m thankful I have one that lets me work part time so I can be home with my kids part time. That’s what matters to me. If I turn it around and see how some people feel about hoping they find a job I realize it’s wrong for me to say I don’t like my job because I’m blessed to have one. There is no guarantee that when my boss retires I will be able to stay home full time so I should be grateful for what I have right now. Relationships- these are what matter most in life, these are when you really need to turn things around on yourself so you can understand the other people. Not saying you will always find you are wrong but you will find understanding of others. You will learn to let go of what really does not matter. Ex I will use a marriage/relationship- I just had my 9 year anniversary last week and in 9 years I have learned to let things go. Such as the little things that never change. Asking why do you put dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is empty and getting the response “I like to soak them”, why when I ask “do you need anything because I’m going shopping” and the answer is always “no” but then 2 days later suddenly something is needed, I’m learning to let go of how Ron dresses my kids but that’s a tough on lol. However, I do turn it around and think I would not like it if he micro managed my ways and he is a hands on Dad so I should be more appreciative then fussy. I see 222. We Moms can be a pain in the ass about that so I know some of you guys have been given hell. Ron has it programmed in his mind that if he saw an outfit on them before then every time he dresses them and those clothes are clean then that’s what they are wearing lol. I do the kid’s laundry every 3 days so I don’t know how many times Rylee has worn the same outfit to her babysitter lol. I’m just busting on you Ron :). So I try to stop myself before I freak out about the things that really don’t matter. I just put the dishes in the dishwasher and I add whatever he needs to next week’s list because why turn it into something more than what it needs to be. He however is starting to pretend he can’t hear me when I know he does so that does matter because I don’t like it. We women are not dumb so it does not work! Finances- I always preach NO STRESS about money. You are hurting yourself by stressing since you are blocking the flow or obsessing too much about materials. Money really does not matter in life. It can’t solve your problems, heal your relationships, spare you from illness or make you happy. You may think it will but it won’t. Change your view about it for a minute and ask yourself if you had all the money you could ever need but no family and poor health would it matter? Now ask yourself if you were poor but had family, friends and health would it matter? You will have problems with or without money so they never go away no matter what. However, there is a reason why a lot of extremely wealthy people are the most unhappiest too. Some have actually been cursed with money and have no family to share it with. There are also times when the poorest people live the happiest because they understand money does not matter. I don’t think anyone really wants to be without but if you can find a way to be content without then it no longer matters. A few years ago when Ron and I faced financial struggles I was content with selling my house and getting an apartment if that was meant to be. I truly got myself to realizing it does not matter as long as my family and I were healthy and happy. Those struggles taught me a life lesson that I will never forget. We were down to the final months. I could have reached to family for help but I would never ask anyone to pay my bills just to spare me from changing my lifestyle. If downsizing was what I needed to do then we were ready. However, learning that lesson actually sent blessings our way. We drove to our accountant’s office at tax time not saying a word to each other and both thinking if we owe more than what we have aside then we are finished. Ron had a number in is head what he was hoping we owed and I just figured whatever happens happens. Then our accountant told us we were given a tax windfall- we had no idea what that meant but when he explained it to us we were shocked. That tax windfall saved my house, my life and open doors for more to come. When money matters the most to you then you lose out. You may keep getting it but you miss what really matters in life. When you waste your time stressing about it you lose out because you block the flow and lose focus on what really matters. It’s not worth it and you will NEVER predict your financial future. Life sends too many twists for anyone to be able to predict it. So it’s best to not worry so much about the things that don’t matter, let it all flow as it will and live life enjoying what really matters. I see 444- nothing to fear. Because before you know it Poof- it’s gone.
Gifts from God-”We angels bring you gifts from your Creator. Open your arms to receive.” I see 444- nothing to fear. Like I always say you will be given everything you need to survive this life but all you need to do is feel worthy of it and allow it to flow into your life.
Expression- says it’s important to express yourself in life. When we hide ourselves we create trouble because we set ourselves up for being misunderstood. It also says ask the angels to help you express yourself in a way that allows you to be heard. It ‘s important to understand when you express yourself in a way that may be offensive to others then you will feel the same negative energy for yourself too. Speak your mind and act who you are but be sure it’s what you truly want others to think about you.
Relationship Harmony- this one jumped out- “We angels are opening the hearts of everyone involved. Arguments and conflicts are being resolved now.” This is telling you things are getting better even if they don’t seem like it right now. It takes time for relationships to heal so it’s best to give everyone the space they need and when the time is right amends will be made. Have hope.
I forgot to mention before that if you are on FB I have an open group for Healing By Words. You can view the blogs on there and you don’t need to join if you don’t want to.