I thank God for my gifts and for blessing my journey. I ask my Angels to guide me as I write and I thank them for helping me find my way. I hold the intention that anyone who reads this will learn and never give up.
I had a nudge to write this one months ago but my intuition told me the timing wasn’t right and I needed to wait to until I felt it was time to complete and publish. So that time is now.
This one is about Life’s Journey. I’ll start this off by reminding everyone that life is unique for every person on this planet. Meaning nobody is living the same life. Some things may be similar but the journey is designed for an individual’s needs and lessons for growth. Unfortunately, this world has turned into people trying to keep up or be like everyone else which then pulls them away from who they are really meant to be. Life then becomes filled with stress and the true life’s purpose can’t be found. However, opportunities will always show up, give you a nudge in the hopes you may start to open your eyes, mind and heart to the journey towards peace.
Here’s how I know…10 years ago my journey started by me having the dream of building my own business. I tried a few things but could never really find what made me happy. I just went through the motions of the recommended business building steps. My son was 2 at the time and trying to manage work and family became quite a challenge. I’m not a quitter so I just kept pushing myself even though I knew deep down I was miserable. I couldn’t allow myself to let go because I was so focused on achieving everything the way I thought it was supposed to be. Looking back now I see how much I stood in my own way since I tried to control my journey with my ego rather than listening to my heart and trusting God’s plan. In the beginning of 2009 I started out strong thinking I had life figured out. By the end of 2009 I was literally beaten down mentally, emotionally and physically. Sometime in October of 2009 I had nothing left in me and I sat on the floor of my office hopeless, depressed and drained. It was around 1 or 2 am and the words ” I can’t do this on my own” crossed my mind. Just as I heard those words in my head I felt a rush of peace and strength return. I literally felt like something picked me up from the floor and moved me to my computer. Minutes later I typed out my first children’s book. Since that day whenever that peaceful feeling returns I know it’s my higher power taking me to my next step.
Some months after my rough patch I was sitting at a traffic light and waiting for it to turn green. I was making a left at the time and Katy Perry’s “Firework” song was on the radio. The words “maybe a reason why all the doors are closed, so you can open one that leads you to the perfect road” were the ones that I heard the loudest. At this point I knew I was meant to do something important and something in a healing profession but I felt so confused and lost as to which direction to go. I was also pregnant with my second child so I didn’t have any free time to pursue anything else. So I sat there hopeless and thinking I have no idea which way I’m supposed to go in life. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling at all. Then the light turned green and I turned left and headed on to my prenatal check up.
Life can literally drive you crazy. Sometimes that’s what it takes to wake you up. It’s easy to get stuck and follow the crowd or just sit there thinking this is how life is supposed to be. It’s easy but it feels like crap. It’s boring and annoying and depressing. It’s scary to let life take you where you belong but as the journey goes the more alive you feel. You learn things about yourself that you never knew before. You achieve things that you never thought possible. You wake up and realize that you’re no longer part of the crowd that tries to be like each other. You become an individual living your own life and not caring about who’s watching. You live a true life, one that is authentic on and off social media. People will judge because that’s human nature but what they judge is real not fake. So that’s on them but you get to feel content with yourself because you’re living the life that was meant for you and only you.
A very shortened version of how I went from lost to found (or better than I used to be lol) comes down to one very difficult step…I surrendered to trusting something bigger than me was taking me in the right direction. I have followed nudges such as figuring out why a certain bird, number, animal has crossed my path and as crazy as a solo trip to Sedona because I just felt I had to go. On a side note- Sedona is a must do. I did not come back the same person after soaking up the healing vibes of that place. So many people have crossed my path at just the right time, so many times money has appeared out of no where so I could pay for school or anything I needed to keep going. The more I learned to trust then the faster the flow of support of all kinds. A lot of the times I had no idea WTF I was doing but I knew deep down I had to do it. Every step made sense later on.
Even when you learn to surrender life can be chaotic but you develop a skill of being able to understand the chaos. You learn when it’s time to push forward, when it’s time to rest, when it’s time to walk away and when it’s time to accept what is in the present moment. You learn to release the frustration of feeling like life is out to get you and you realize life is trying teach you during those difficult times. You realize it’s ok to have a bad day, month or years because in time things always get better and you see why you needed those struggles. Life is never constant for anyone. Life goes up, down and all around for each of us. Nobody is given a golden ticket to the perfect life. However, everyone is given the opportunity to choose peace.
I sit at that same traffic light at least 3x a week now. This time I always turn right. It’s the way I meant to go this time. It takes me to my office. The place where I run my own massage business. The place where I work my purpose that God had planned for me. Years ago I made a left and went in the opposite direction. I wasn’t ready to make the right because my attention belonged to my children. Not only did I need to nurture my children I needed to nurture myself. I needed change, I needed healing and I needed to find inner peace. It took time, it took healing and it took surrendering for my dream to come true. I’m a big believer in working towards a dream. I’ve had plenty of set backs along the way and a few times I lost hope but when I bring myself back to surrendering that’s when God sends me all that I’m seeking. Actually God sends me above and beyond what I desire.
I now understand why I heard the words “I can’t do this on my own”. I couldn’t do it because I needed to find myself, I needed to find the people who were meant to help me and I needed believe in my higher power. Life has an individual design for each of us but it isn’t meant to be traveled alone. People need people, that’s how we help each other. When you give up control it allows the people you need to gravitate towards you.
Maybe your purpose is different from mine. Maybe your struggles are different. They may be different but the one way we are all the same is we all seek peace. I’ve written many times before about how life will test you on every level. As you master one lesson another one comes forth. Believe it or not everything happens to push you closer to finding inner peace. At times you may feel like you have been cursed and are convinced there is no way out of the chaotic bubble. However, if you can find the strength to find the tiny little spark that still exists inside of you then you can burst that bubble. It’s the spark that is deep and I mean deep inside that tells you can’t settle when you know you’re not happy. If you can admit to yourself that you can’t take anymore then the spark gets bigger. It will then start to guide you towards changes for the better. You won’t always understand but if you remind yourself that you don’t want to go backwards then your only option is forward.
It starts with a spark, a desire for something better. It grows and bursts the bubble of chaos and peace starts to make it ways to you. Doors begin to open, people appear to support your journey, everything you need shows up like magic. And when you learn to surrender to something bigger… you become the firework and Sparks Fly.
I have to be honest and say I struggled with making the decision to write again. It’s been a long time and I wasn’t sure I wanted to open up and share my personal stories again. My kids are getting older and they have lots of friends, I’m friends with a lot of those parents and I wasn’t sure I wanted my deeper personal life out there for my small community to know. But when I read this blog I realized everything about it points to being yourself and doing what you are meant to do. Like I said you won’t always understand why you do the things you do but when there is a spark, a nudge, a push it’s a must to listen. Whoever reads this I hope it helps you in one way or another. My main purpose for these blogs is so anyone that connects with them knows they are not alone.
Cards
Take Back Your power- tells you that you have the ability to create the life you dream about.
Authority- it’s time to take charge of your life and follow the path that leads you to peace.
Compassion- reminds you to have compassion for yourself and your choices that may have pulled you away from the life you desire. Every experience in life serves as a lesson. Learn to grow from it.
Always Believe…
healingbywords 