I thank God for my gifts and for supporting me throughout my life. I ask my Angels to guide me as a write especially Archangel Gabriel. I hold the intent that all of you will learn something about yourself during this time of healing.
I usually start off by reminding everyone that we are all on our own journey but lately we are all in the same boat or pretty much doing the same thing each day. Some see it as a challenge and some of us know it’s a blessing in disguise.
This one is about The Big Reveal of Your Shadow Side. Shadow side meaning what needs to change within yourself so you can shed some heavy baggage that should have left a long time ago. It’s interesting how the quieter things become the louder things can be heard. Meaning when life slows down the clearer it is to see what matters and what doesn’t. For me the first 2 weeks of quarantine felt like a vacation. I finally was able to feel what my own energy actually feels like. I felt really calm, energized and very content. My intuition was on fire and my dreams were so vivid. It was a nice treat since most of the time I’m trying to figure out what’s mine and what isn’t. May sound crazy to some of you but a lot of you can relate I’m sure. Ha I see 1111- the Angels are near:). And this message is meant to be even tho I had no intention of writing 15 minutes ago. But the nudge came and I will listen. However, as with all peaceful moments eventually they end and the storm returns.
When I think about how many people are inside their homes right now it makes me wonder what are they thinking in their own heads. We have very few distractions right now so when one is not distracted then most of the time they are in their heads with thoughts. Part of me worries for people because I know what the early years of my spiritual journey felt like. They were dark and confusing and it attacked all areas of my life. Emotional, relationships, financial, physical. Emotions that were stuck were forced out. Relationships that were weak ended, some that were broken were healed and healthy ones got stronger but it took a lot of healing during that time. Financially, hardships came in and I had to get to a place of being content with not knowing if things would get better. It was a process forcing me to let go of the need to be in control. Big lesson for many right now. You will be OK , money has a way of appearing in unexpected ways to provide what you need. Maybe not an expensive vacation but definitely what is needed for survival. Physically, I was tired and broken down because I kept trying to fight the change. Spiritually it was enlightening but the reality of it all made zero sense and I spent most of my days praying for peace.
I personally feel what is happening right now is in Divine Order and has purpose. The world literally stopped and they only thing that matters right now is staying healthy. Life is presenting a chance to figure it out and leave behind what needs to go so you can return with a better way of life. Sadly, not everyone gets to come out of this alive and I don’t have the answers to why that is but for those of us that will survive it’s an opportunity to come out of this stronger. Hopefully the majority of the world will get that and in time we will see a better place.
I’ve written before about the “awakening phase” of a spiritual journey. I come in contact with a lot of people that share their personal life with me. I’m one of those people that people feel comfortable opening up to and I do see that as a compliment too. I would never judge a person that is honest about their life. People have stories, they have a history so the more real a person is the more I respect them and trust them with my own stories. A lot of times “my tribe” have similarities to how they are feeling such as they can’t explain it and they don’t think many would understand anyway. I tend to share some tidbits about my own stories and then it usually clicks for them that I get it even tho they can’t explain what is happening to them in their life. It brings them a lot of comfort knowing they can share and I understand. I don’t claim to be Jesus, I’m not a healer but I do have experience with spiritual transformation …the good, bad, ugly and now the Thank God I went through it all because today I live without fear during this pandemic.
I’ll share some experiences that go along with the awakening phase and how I was able to cope along the way. Maybe you can relate and maybe it will help you feel better. It’s meant for some people so who ever that is I hope it helps.
- Feeling like you stepped out of your life as if you are watching it but are not connected to it. – this is the worst of them all. This takes a lot of time to grasp. When you grow spiritually you also raise your vibration- your energy body so you won’t vibe like you once did with a lot of things about your life. Mostly, some people in your life , certain foods, interests in TV shows, materialistic lifestyles. I’m thinking most of this started for people months before the pandemic started but now it’s time to deal with it fully. As weird as it feels it also brings a good cleanse to your soul. The relationships that change from it will be the ones that already have fractures in the connection and those will eventually fall away. The people that remain are the ones that are meant to stay since they are good for you in life.
- Joint pain- your body will hurt especially the back of your head and neck. Sometimes all on the same side of the entire body too. This usually lasts a few days but can last longer if there are emotional blocks that are not dealt with fully. As time goes on you will be able to connect the pain in your body with the thoughts in your head. Sometimes the pain comes from sensing tragic events, weather disasters, earthquakes and most often the moon cycles. Again as time goes by you will be able to connect those feeling with the events that happened during that time. Pay attention because it often explains why sometimes you feel anxious and don’t understand why too.
- Diet change or motivation to take better care of yourself. The body is fascinating and it will talk to you when it needs change. You’ll notice that certain foods don’t agree with you anymore especially poor diet choices or heavy food such as red meat. The best way I explain it to people is its the same as when you stay in a new place and you need to reset for a day or so. Your body is accepting the changes so the normal routine doesn’t always feel as comfortable in a new place. This usually only lasts a few weeks and you can gradually eat without feeling sick again. Always listen to how your body feels tho because it will guide you to a better diet.
- Now for the fun stuff- you’ll feel like there is an Angel on your shoulder tapping on your head constantly with signs and guidance about what to do next. The struggle starts when you try to ignore those nudges. This is when you start learning to trust your intuition. If you have any trust issues in life then this is when the roller coaster ride starts. Depending on how willing you are to trust those signs determines how smoothly this phase will go for you. It took me a few rides on the coaster before I learned to trust. Now whenever I want to doubt I remind myself how far I went when I trusted and how much better I felt. I see 222- trust everything is happening for a reason. When you feel peace then its the right way. When you have anxiety then you need to calm down so you get the true message. Meditation helps, walking, music and nature all are good ways to calm your soul.
- You find peace in everything. You don’t fear lack of money because you know God will always provide. You understand things change in life and there are always reasons for the change, you become content with a simpler life, you lose desire for having all the fancy things in life, you search for ways to help others, you meet people that connect you to your purpose. They show up out of no where. You start to see into the souls of others and you can tell who is hurting deep within. Side note- this is when it is important to set boundaries- you can’t save these people, they need to do their own work. You can be a friend, a listener but know when the boundaries are being crossed. If someone takes too much of your own peace away then there are unhealthy boundaries present. I personally choose to pray for those people rather than take on too much of their stuff. It is extremely hard not to feel sorry for those people especially when you are used to being the strong one people come to but it is very important for your own well being you stick to healthy boundaries. If there is guilt then that’s a sign of unhealthy boundaries. You can still be a loving and compassionate person and set boundaries. Sometimes people need to be told “No”. When your energy vibes higher, you will attract a lot of people that need healing. There is a difference in someone spends sometime chatting with you about something and they feel better afterwards oppose to someone latches on to you and they feel like an anchor. Know the difference and maintain the boundaries. You’ll save yourself a lot of energy.
As life goes on there will still be some occasions you’ll need to remind yourself you can’t go back to the way you once were. It’s like breaking bad habits. Those habits will always be in the background noise trying to call you back but you’ve learned you are better off without them now. Those scary moments that arise without warning and the fear mode kicks on instantly. The fear takes over the mind and the thoughts run with survival mode rather than spiritual mode. These times are not all that bad because these show the shadows we keep inside. They expose the lack of trust and the need for control we still harbor. They show how quickly the petty, little things can ruin our peace. They teach us a lesson and when we choose to learn from them we return to living in peace.
I’ll share an example of how quarantine life showed me my shadows within. I’m guessing this blog is meant to be a long one because I keep getting nudges to keep going lol. During the first 2 weeks I was open to receive and the messages were flowing, I was sharing as I got them in case they were meant to help others deal with the shock of the drastic changes to life as we knew it. Rainbows were everywhere each day and they symbolize God’s promise so I knew things will eventually be ok. Like I said , I felt really good and was appreciating the chance to renew my soul since I had been feeling a little off and tired for a few months prior to the quarantine. Then a shift happened and my thoughts turned to survival mode.
I’m a massage therapist living in the middle of a pandemic. I chose to stop working before the shutdown and now I don’t have a choice to work anyway. I have a part time job at a chiropractor I can return to when this is all over but I also have a small business of my own that still requires an income to maintain the business and office space. I was hopeful I would be able to return by June at the latest and the financial hit would hurt but not enough to knock me out. As the days went by, the news reports were worse and worse and I started thinking so far into the future and the voice of the bad habits spoke louder than the spiritual voice. I tossed the what ifs around, I looked for signs but I kept ignoring them since my mind was already set in control mode. My jaw, shoulder and neck were killing me since I wasn’t listening to my intuition, my hip started hurting again because I was too focused on survival rather than the lesson at hand. Finally, I notified my landlord and told her it was best for me to move out since I was unsure about the future of my business. It was a tough decision but I wanted to avoid any financial issues that may arise in the future. I know a lot of landlords are cutting breaks but for me I felt that it is my responsibility to continue to pay since everyone is losing in this mess and I don’t expect freebies. She told me she wanted to help and her words were “It’s not a freebie, it’s about people helping people during this time”. It took me a little bit to accept the help but I agreed to her offer. I put a lot of effort into building my business and quitting out of fear is not my style so I’m grateful for her generosity so I can keep going. She’s one of the kindest and most generous people I have ever met. Always treating her staff so well and gives back to the community constantly. I’m truly lucky that God has placed my massage business inside a building owned by such a special soul. Deep down I didn’t want to give it up and I’m happy it is working out.
My lesson with the long story turned out to be my lack of being able to receive. Took me a few days to figure it out since I spent some time trying to process why I felt so uncomfortable accepting help. It made me dig a little deeper and the lesson was revealed to me. That’s my shadow side, I can be stubborn, I don’t like people taking care of me, I prefer to be the giver and help others but I rarely will ask for help for myself. My life molded me into being independent. I really had no other choice but to rely on myself. Many times in my life people have not been there when I needed them to be there so you learn to survive on your own. You develop major trust issues and you live your life very guarded. This affects a lot of areas in your life so it’s not a healthy way to be. I’m not saying I don’t have people in my life that are and have always been there for me but the ones that hurt you leave the scars. My husband is the one that pointed it out to me that it was my turn to get back what I give out. He likes to toss the words “what would you tell me” back to me a lot LoL. I wouldn’t say I’m totally comfortable with receiving the help yet but I’m working on releasing the shadow side of myself. However, I do have ideas about how I’m going to pay it forward as well. I do believe that goes along with receiving too.
Somehow, some way this pandemic has affected us all. Maybe its financial, maybe its your health, maybe its your mental state or maybe its a time to embrace your spiritual self. During this time it is important to stay safe and healthy but it is very important to learn. Learn about yourself, find some ways to do something good and allow people to help you if you need it. They say we are all in this together and I do believe the main lesson is all of this is so we learn to work together. Our lives have become too separated by the every day race and technology wiping out personal contact that humans are losing what matters most in life. There is a lot of sadness with the pandemic but with that a lot of beauty will emerge. You see it happening already. Hopefully it continues on when this ends.
God sends rainbows after the storms. They show beauty even when surrounded by dark clouds. They bring the sun to move the darkness out so the true light can be seen. They remind us that there is a promise of better days ahead. When we trust God in our darkest moments it ignites our spiritual self. It keeps our mind clear so we can focus on the lesson. When we find our way out of the darkness, the light returns and we are able to let go of our shadows within.
I pray for all of you to be safe and healthy. If anyone needs anything please reach out. Even if its just a simple chat I’m willing to listen. Be well:)
Cards
Mother Mary- Blessed Mother helps with matters of love, ladybugs often appear as a sign too. This card is telling to ask for assistance if you are struggling to love yourself or others. A sign will come to tell you that your request was heard.
Ask for a Sign- just as it says. They will come!
Compassion- card tells you to soften your heart, try to see things from another’s point of view but also have some compassion for yourself too.
Career Transition- card tells that your life purpose is triggering a blessed career change. Maybe not for everyone but definitely for some. When you awaken spiritually then you will be pulled in a direction that allows you to have a career that is also a passion. Trust the nudges, don’t worry about how it will all happen including any finances or time needs, just follow the steps that come into your path. One day you will be able to look back and connect the dots and see the big picture.
Always Believe…
healingbywords 